Done This One Before (part 3)

Chicago, IL: It was nighttime in Dallas as we made our way downtown. We drove through Deep Ellum. Deep Ellum has a history rich in the arts and entertainment. It’s home to many galleries and clubs. Many artists have passed through over the years. Some came to live. CK and EK pointed out a club where they saw Slayer play. I know Black Flag played there in the early 80’s. In the 30’s, it was a thriving area for jazz and blues artists. While it’s hung in there alright, it’s not exactly what it used to be. I’m told this is a city that doesn’t like to hold onto things. It’s a concept that, in many ways, I understand. Just not in this way. Still though, there’s a creative energy that moves through the streets. Some parts have died but the breathing hasn’t stopped.

Once we made it downtown, we stopped to eat. It’s good to be vegetarian, sitting next to another vegetarian, in a car driven by a vegan. I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself one, but I do avoid most of the things that they exclude altogether, like dairy. EK spotted an Italian restaurant that served a no cheese pizza. That was dinner. We shared the pizza, a bottle of wine and some good conversation. My studies show that at least 2 in every 4 people have a passed-out-drunk-woke-up-naked story, maybe more.

We went from the restaurant to the Function art show at the CorinthPark warehouse. The name Function refers to the endless functional aspects of art and how it permeates life. It also refers to the single memorable celebration that this night was designed to be, and was. It’s easily one of the best things I saw that day. There’s absolutely no way I would’ve found it on my own. That fact was not lost on me.

Outside of the warehouse were scattered groups of people, hanging out around fires and one of the sculptures. This particular piece had already been skated on, and evolved into a seating area as the night wore on. Inside were many vibrant spaces and rooms. The noise performance group Ascites played throughout the night, further animating the atmosphere. They were intense. The people inside and out were friendly and appealing. There was a strong sense of artistic community. All of it rolled together was very stimulating. I won’t forget it. I have the photos, the music of Ascites and these words to ensure it. They allow me to return to it, and more importantly to move on from it.

We left CorinthPark and arrived at The Cavern. CK, EK and TF all decided to come along for the Dax show. The opening band was still setting up when we walked in. The Cavern has a very distinct upstairs and downstairs. Downstairs, it’s your typical small club and dive bar. Upstairs, it’s much more relaxed and open. CK and I hung out on some couches upstairs and talked. When the opening band finished playing, we made our way downstairs and directly to the front of the stage. The show was about to start and that’s what I came for.

It was around midnight when Dax started playing. The more I see him play the harder it is to explain how much his voice soothes me. How much it tears me apart. It crushes then rebuilds me. It’s the single most resonant and sonorous sound I’ve ever come into contact with. It moves me like I imagine the roar of the lions in Africa would. It moves me more than that. I’ve traveled through states and through time zones to hear it, to feel it. He often makes mistakes when he plays. I’ve heard it on all the bootlegs I own, and at all the shows I’ve been to. It never matters. I can’t explain why other than to say that, beneath that resounding voice, it all seems so wonderfully insignificant. If you don’t hear it, there’s nothing I can say to change that. If you do hear it, you don’t need me to say a word. That night, like so many others, I sang along to every word of every song; including “Done This One Before.” Then, before I knew it, what had hit me with the force of a train disappeared almost instantly into the night. The music stopped. The lights came on. It was time to go.

There were varying amounts of alcohol flowing through all of us at that point, and there was no way I was letting anyone drive. These people were way too good for that. I shared a very convincing story about a couple of twins I used to know: It was New Year’s Eve. They’d been drinking and were in a car in Tennessee. There was an accident. The one driving lived. The one in the passenger seat didn’t. I’ll never forget getting that phone call on New Year’s Day. I’ll never forget going to his wake. I’ll never forget seeing his brother walk in. They let him out of jail only to attend the wake and funeral. He had burns on his body and limped toward the casket with a cane. I’ll never forget his fiancé forcing them to open the casket so she could take one last look. I’ll never forget the tears. That was years ago. I still think about them both all the time. I don’t share this to bum anyone out. I share it to remind you of how beautiful you are. I share it to remind you to love yourself and others. I share it to remind you to live. I share it to remind myself. I will never forget.

So, we were standing in front of The Cavern getting ready to jump in a cab. Dax was standing out there too, apparently also on his way to wherever he was going. EK said something to him about how I was a big fan and came all the way from Chicago. I think she may have told him I loved him, or something along those lines. And she said he should show me some love back. Dax walked over and wrapped his arms around me. Oh how small, lame and drunk I felt at that moment. I hugged him back anyway.

Eventually, we made it safely into a cab and dropped off TF. CK, EK and I went back to my hotel. EK made a phone call before falling asleep. CK and I stayed up talking until we fell out around 4am. After a quick goodbye, she left about 3 hours later. I was up and moving shortly after. It was Sunday. I woke up EK before checking out. We went back to The Cavern to get her car. She then gave me a ride to the airport. We had a good talk before saying goodbye, and that was that. A short time later, I was on a flight back to Chicago.

I keep a bullseye in the distance. I try to always be moving toward it in one way or another. It reminds me what’s important and what’s not. Sometimes I can see it but can’t focus on it. Sitting on that plane, somewhere between Dallas and Chicago, my vision was intensified. I gained perspective. I gained knowledge. I was overcome by the feeling of being slightly wounded and boundlessly inspired. It’s the perfect combination. I was still, but on fire. My eyes stung as they closed shut, and I fell asleep with the roar of lions in my ears.

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